Photo illustration: Vulture, Photo: Michael Becker/FOX
As the latest season of The Masked Singer begins, we are reminded that the show has already welcomed “186 celebrities in 11 seasons.” This statistic raises the very real question of what “celebrity” status means in the world of The Masked Singer, given that the show has recently tended to attract C- to D-ranked “stars.” If we believe the judges (and, really, no one should), it’s entirely possible that Cardi B, Tom Brady, or Kerry Washington could pop out of an outlandish costume onto the show’s glossy stage at any moment. And while, with very few exceptions, the identities of celebrities of that level have never been revealed, viewers are eager to hang on every week to see who’s who.
With that in mind, and admitting that we’ve yet to meet season 12 contestants Dust Bunny, Goo, Wasp, Bluebell, Chess Piece, Sherlock Hound, Royal Knight, Macaron, Ice King, and Strawberry Shortcake, we’d like to scientifically and almost confidently guess who the famous contestants are on this season of “The Masked Singer.”
Photo: Michael Becker/FOX
Here’s what we know about Buffalo: The show first introduces him as a single person, but quickly reveals that “Buffalo” is actually plural, referring to the three in the herd. When Buffalo is introduced by his friend Nick Lachey in “Ambassadors,” there’s stories of “practicing at night at the bus stop in a bed full of cockroaches,” photos of Betty and Vana White, and a hint that he’s appeared in “two of the biggest sitcoms of all time.” There are also references to the Walk of Fame, slot machine jackpots, and crowns. And, not helping matters at all, Lachey says that Buffalo is “always the center of attention at my epic Super Bowl parties.”
Why it’s definitely Boyz II Men: Though there’s very little evidence at this point, Boyz II Men seems like a solid guess (and Reddit seems to agree). They have a star on the Walk of Fame and just finished a short run in Las Vegas (featuring Masked Singer judge Robin Thicke!). Member Waniya Morris formed a weird, insurance-sponsored “supergroup” with Lachey last year. They’ve also appeared in a number of sitcoms, including The Fresh Prince, Moesha, and How I Met Your Mother.
Why it’s not Boyz II Men: Both Jenny McCarthy and Rita Ora think it could be Boyz II Men because of the possibility of Omarion appearing. Omarion is a singer who has already appeared on The Masked Singer and has never appeared on a mega-popular sitcom apart from a few guest appearances on The Bernie Mac Show and Grown-Ish. Rita Ora also suggests it could be Earth, Wind & Fire, an idea so ridiculous that we have no choice but to flatly dismiss it. The judges also seem to think that the people in the buffalo costumes could be athletes, calling them “huge” compared to the 6-foot-tall but fairly slender Nick Cannon, but it would be hard to think of an athlete who could sing and harmonize like Buffalo.
Photo: Michael Becker/FOX
Here’s what we know about Woody Woodpecker: Introduced by ambassador Jenifer Lewis, who’s known Woody Woodpecker “since day one,” the masked contestant is petite and feminine, describes herself as a big shot and “a stylish CEO” and says she’s friends with Beyoncé. She’s on the show because, she says, she’s “trying to become the youngest billionaire.”
Why it’s definitely Marsai Martin: At just 20 years old, Marsai Martin has already had a long and productive life in Hollywood. She co-starred with Lewis on “Black-ish,” has been nominated for six NAACP Image Awards and two SAG Awards, has served as producer or executive producer on multiple projects, has a first-look production deal with Universal, and once told BET that she wants to be “the youngest billionaire or trillionaire.”
Why not Marsai Martin: Maybe Chloe or Halle Bailey, who are both good friends with Beyoncé, could fit this bill, but they’re too popular for the show, so Martin is the winner.
Photo: Michael Becker/FOX
Here’s what we know about Reef Sheep: Introduced by former Denver Bronco DeMarcus Ware (who was a Koala last season), Reef Sheep has been dubbed the “GOAT” despite saying he’s “been kind of off lately, but you should have seen me in my prime.” He’s “risen to the top of the charts,” “revitalized a franchise,” and apparently has some connection to both a cowboy-hat-wearing seahorse and a quarter. He’s also pretty bad at singing.
Why it’s definitely John Elway: If we’re looking for an older, Cowboy or horse-related NFL quarterback who can barely sing, former Denver Broncos quarterback John Elway comes to mind. You could say the Broncos were decent (10-6) before Elway arrived in 1983, but the team struggled in the mid-to-late 2000s until Elway took over as GM and brought in Peyton Manning as quarterback, a move that ultimately led to the team’s Super Bowl appearance.
Why it might not be John Elway: Yes, his lackluster singing performance put him at the bottom of the league in the season premiere and led to his true identity being revealed.
Photo: Michael Becker/FOX
Here’s what we know about Showbird: Introduced by her friend Joel McHale, Showbird wasn’t a contestant on The Masked Singer but enjoys swearing a lot at judge Ken Jeong, says she “grew up a tomboy” and admits to a love of nerdy stuff like Lego and Comic-Con, says she’s been in some of the biggest blockbuster movies of all time, and her introduction video features a golden gavel, suggesting she’s a judge of some kind.
Why Yvette Nicole Brown is an absolute favorite: First, just listen to her voice. It’s 100% Yvette Nicole Brown’s unique voice. Second, there’s her connection to both McHale and Jong, her “Community” co-stars. And third and fourth, there’s her Hollywood connections. She played Judge Anita Harper on “A Black Lady Sketch Show” and has appeared in other projects, including “Tropic Thunder,” “Avengers: Endgame” and “(500) Days of Summer.” She’s also a huge Lego fan and a Comic-Con regular, hosting the big Hall H panel multiple times.
Why it might not be Yvette Nicole Brown: If you believe Ken Jeong and no one else, it could be Jennifer Hudson. Rita Ora thinks it’s Taraji P. Henson, which is impossible. Robin Thicke says it’s Kerry Washington, which is an insult to Kerry Washington.
Photo: Michael Becker/FOX
Here’s what we know about Shipp: Dressed like a steampunk schooner, Shipp is praised by Jewel, who has apparently been a friend for years. According to Shipp, her “career started to take off” but she “felt out of control, lost at sea, forgotten.” However, she turned it around and now has “the career I’ve always wanted.” Shipp also appears to be a professional singer, as she belts out a stunning alto vibrato rendition of Bastille’s “Pompeii.”
Why it’s definitely Belinda Carlisle: When we think of who might be in costume for The Masked Singer, we must first think of the contestants who might not have put on a costume yet. Carlisle has always been a go-to contender for some of the judges, but she’s never actually appeared. And after her immediate and huge success with the Go-Go’s and then her solo career, she had a decades-long drug use problem that left her, you might say, “lost at sea.” But she overcame that, and released a new EP, “Kismet,” earlier this year.
Why it’s not Belinda Carlisle: There are plenty of potential female singers from the ’80s and ’90s that could be mentioned, including Joan Osborne, Meredith Brooks, Sarah McLachlan, Paula Cole, Tracy Bonham, Suzanne Vega, Lisa Loeb, and Shawn Colvin. The cowboy hat on her body leads us to guess that it could be “Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?” songstress Cole or even infamous rabble-rouser Tanya Tucker, but we’d need more information before we can make a final guess.
