Parasocial tendencies toward celebrities, while easily misinterpreted as innocent, can accumulate into irrational obsessions and stalker-like behavior.
I am very sorry to say that I will no longer be using the One Direction toothbrush that I have been using for many years.
Once a nightly staple that would serenade me with “What Makes You Beautiful” until my dental treatment was over, the X-Factor spin-off boy band was my end-of-the-day tune for ages 4 to 6. It was a song. Now, brushing my teeth is as much fun for me as I am looking forward to doing my APUSH homework, but when I was younger, Harry, Liam, Louis, Niall, and Zayn were I sang common pop songs to rouse me from sleep.
At that age, I didn’t yet know the devoted fan base behind the five teenage boys. Hampered by my childhood understanding, I didn’t realize at the time just how much weight this band had on pop culture.
I first learned about Directioner’s wide audience with the tragic death of band member Liam Payne on October 16th, which came as an unexpected shock to his family.
Given the seriousness of the situation, I posted on Instagram in hopes of sending condolences to his grieving family. Unfortunately, this was often not the case.
On the contrary, I encountered teenage girls infantilizing middle-aged men, and their intention to integrate them came across as a kind of disturbing motherhood. In other Instagram stories, people my age write essay-like biographies about the singer’s character, insisting that he is “just a boy” and that he is not a family member but a close relative. It expressed a feeling of desolation. A 14 year old stranger. Some missed school and work to mourn his death, mourning his memory with a tender reverence that seemed eerily out of place.
This level of attachment, which has become increasingly pervasive as celebrity culture has become increasingly obsessive for many over the years, is undoubtedly unhealthy. The grossly exaggerated grief of many fans, as seen in this situation, blatantly disrespects the experiences of Payne’s family and friends, who not only have to deal with the death of a loved one, but also lack empathy. You also have to deal with crowds of unknown fans who try to do it in really unrelated situations. After all, Payne was a son, father, brother, partner, and an identity that shouldn’t be compared to being a celebrity crush.
More broadly, this is not to discount the love that many people have for their chosen celebrities. But for those who want to express sympathy, adoration, and sometimes sympathy for their idols, rather than turning that homage into a testament to their own obsession, or, in Payne’s case, grief, they must remember a hard truth: It won’t happen. This is one of many fans. No matter how unrequited love is, it is just a means of living for the person you passionately adore.
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Such intense involvement can lead to a distorted sense of reality, where people blur the line between admiration and over-obsession, and their entire personality becomes It gets to the point where it’s built on behalf of your life.
Such fan relationships are very common and are demonstrated through many famous names today. Fans make connections between their own personal happiness and the lives of celebrities they don’t actually know exist. Such intense involvement can lead to a distorted sense of reality, with people blurring the line between admiration and over-obsession, and seeing people’s entire personalities even though they’ve never met each other. It gets to the point where the is being built to compensate for that human being. The result of such fantasies is a risky personal investment in another person that can even rival family relationships.
Parasocial relationships are, not surprisingly, a result of social media’s grip on society. In the dark corners of the internet, TikTok depicts fan edits that turn real people’s experiences into something to behold (e.g. the Menendez brothers), and fan fiction transforms reality into a form of maladaptive fantasy. Distort and have instant access to every detail of a celebrity’s life. It remains a perfect rabbit hole for sucking identity out of people. These close relationships can be seen not only among sports fans, video game enthusiasts, fans of influencers, and fans of specific books, movies, and shows, but also in other communities.
That being said, it’s important to remember that being a fan doesn’t mean devoting all of a celebrity’s life and vitality. Enjoying a celebrity’s work, finding joy in what they create, and finding a deep sense of happiness within themselves are aspects that true fans embody. If you don’t sit on Reddit for hours, no matter how many fun facts you ramble on, you’re actually stalking someone you don’t know. Regardless of what you think about someone you see in the media, don’t inflate your relationship with that person into something bigger than it really is.
