Regarding the ways Asian families express love, junior Ryan Liu said that many parents in Asian families place less emphasis on words and emotional connections and express love in unconventional ways such as acts of service. It is said that it expresses For example, Liu’s grandparents cook for him to show their gratitude.
“People think that Asian parents don’t express love at all, but I don’t think that’s true,” Liu said. “They just express it in different ways. They don’t express it verbally, but they do little things. To a lesser extent, but it’s still there.”
Shozo Shimazaki, a literature teacher who grew up in an Asian family, felt that he lacked emotional approval from his parents. He wants to avoid things like this when raising his own children and feels that understanding other people’s emotions is an important skill, so he tries to build emotional connections with his family. is focused on.
“I think we’ve started talking more about being aware of other people’s feelings,” Shimazaki says. “When I was younger, I wanted more emotional validation. When I had children, I didn’t want them to feel like they were missing that part. Maybe I was more emotional than my parents. Maybe they’re just Americanized, and if they’re going to live in America, they might need to be more affectionate.
Liu shares this “Americanized” culture, and says she has a more friendly relationship with her parents. Ms Liu said her family was very supportive of each other, and her father disliked the lack of emotional connection with his parents and wanted to avoid traditional “Asian” parenting. He appreciates the spiritual connection that allows families to be involved in each other’s lives while balancing time together and time for themselves.
“I try to spend time with my parents,” Liu said. “My mom is a teacher, so she has scary stories about her students. She always tells me good stories. You can just ask her, ‘Oh, how are you doing?’ And check back from time to time. ”
Sophomore Alexander Chu shares similar thoughts about the differences between his family and his father’s. Chu said that growing up in Texas, his father’s family had strict expectations of obedience, with little room to explore beyond what was considered acceptable. But Chu believes her parents will give her more freedom.
“I think my parents today are able to take in more feedback from other parents,” Chu said. “They can see what other parenting styles are like and be open to new ideas.”
Chu also noticed that families place more emphasis on “educational gifts” than “material gifts” as a way to express their love for each other. Mr Chu specifically mentioned the differences in the way older generations share love compared to younger generations.
“I think older generations tend to express their love through wisdom and advice,” Chu says. “This is in contrast to younger generations who express their love through material things and holidays.”
Similarly, Shimazaki says that when she was young, her family focused on nonverbal expressions of affection because her parents believed that love didn’t need to be said aloud. They also said that each parent met different needs, with the father meeting the financial needs and the mother meeting the emotional needs.
“I think he had the assumption that he needed to focus on his career. That’s part of his love for us,” Shimazaki said. “I interpreted it as him providing material things and my mother providing more human things. My mother is more open to other ways of expressing love. I think my mother would even say that worrying about me is an expression of love.”
