Jerry Norrington, 78, didn’t want to be alone as he got older.
However, her first marriage ended in divorce and her second husband died over 30 years ago. When her five-year relationship ended in 2006, she found herself alone and has remained that way ever since.
“I miss having companions to talk to and say, ‘How was your day?’ ‘What do you think about what’s going on in the world?'” said Norrington, who lives in a senior apartment complex on Chicago’s South Side. said.
Although she has a beloved daughter in the city, she said, “I don’t want to be a burden to her.”
Norrington is part of a large but often overlooked group of more than 16 million Americans who live alone as they age. Surprisingly, little is known about their experiences.
This elderly population has significant health problems. Nearly four in 10 older adults living alone have vision or hearing loss, difficulty caring for themselves or living independently, cognitive problems, or other disabilities, according to a KFF analysis of 2022 Census data. I am.
If you don’t have help at home when you need it, which is an all-too-common problem, being alone can compound these difficulties and lead to poor health.
Research shows that older adults who live alone are at a higher risk of becoming isolated, depressed, inactive, having accidents, and neglecting to take care of themselves. As a result, they tend to be hospitalized more often and die earlier than expected.
Access to health care services can be an issue, especially for older adults who live alone and live in rural areas or do not drive. Experts observe that too often health care providers do not ask about the living conditions of older adults and are unaware of the challenges they face.
Over the past six months, I’ve talked to dozens of older adults who live alone, either by choice or by circumstances (most commonly the death of a spouse). Some people have adult children or close family members who are involved in their lives. Many people don’t.
In a long conversation, these seniors expressed some common concerns: Why have I become lonely during this time? Is that okay? Who can I ask for help? If I can’t make decisions, who can make them for me? How long can I take care of myself, and what happens when I can’t?
This “gray revolution” in the living conditions of Americans is driven by longer lifespans, higher rates of divorce and childlessness, smaller families, geographic dispersion of family members, an emphasis on aging, and, as Eric Klinenberg Promoted by liking things. A sociology professor at New York University calls it “intimacy at a distance,” or being close to family but not too close.
The most reliable and up-to-date data on older adults living alone comes from the U.S. Census Bureau. According to the 2023 Current Population Survey, approximately 28% of people over the age of 65 live alone, with just under 6 million men and just over 10 million women. (This figure does not include elderly people who primarily live in facilities such as nursing homes and assisted living facilities.)
By contrast, in 1950, one in ten older Americans lived alone.
This is foremost an issue for older women, as women live longer than men and are less likely to remarry after bereavement or divorce. 27 percent of women aged 65 to 74 live alone, compared to 21 percent of men. After the age of 75, an astonishing 43% of women live alone, compared to just 24% of men.
According to KFF’s analysis of 2022 Census data, the majority (80%) of people living alone after age 65 are divorced or widowed, twice as many as the general population. More than 20% have incomes below the 2022 federal poverty line of $13,590, and 27% have incomes between that income and $27,180, twice the poverty level.
Of course, their experiences vary widely. How older adults who live alone fare depends on their financial situation, housing, network of friends and family, and resources in the community in which they live.
Attitude can make a difference. While many older adults enjoy being independent, others feel abandoned. Even if you have caring friends and family, feelings of loneliness are common.
“I prefer being alone to being in a relationship,” said Janice Chavez, a 70-something Denver resident. “I don’t have to ask anyone for anything. If I want to sleep late, I’ll sleep late. If I want to stay up and watch TV, I can. I’ll do whatever I want. I love independence and freedom. is.”
Chavez has been divorced twice and has lived alone since 1985. As a girl, she wanted to get married and have many children, but “I chose someone I didn’t like,” she says. She talks to her daughter Tracy every day and has become close with some of her neighbors. She lives in the house she grew up in, which she inherited from her mother in 1991. Her only sibling, her younger brother, died a dozen years ago.
But in Chicago, Norrington is wondering whether to live in an upscale building or move to the suburbs after his car was vandalized this year.
“Since the pandemic, I haven’t been able to go out as much as I would like due to fear,” she told me.
She is a responsible person who is deeply involved in her community. In 2016, Norrington started an organization for single black seniors in Chicago, which sponsored speed-dating events and monthly meet-ups for several years. She volunteered at a local medical center serving seniors and held health and wellness classes in her building. She has organized cruises to the Caribbean and Hawaii for friends and acquaintances in 2022 and 2023.
Now, Norrington sends spiritual text messages to 40 people every morning, and they often respond with their own messages. “It helps me feel less alone and feel a sense of belonging,” she said.
In Maine, retired psychology professor Ken Elliott, 77, lives alone in a house in Mount Vernon, a town of 1,700 people 32 miles northwest of the state capital. He has never been married and has no children. His only living relative is an 80-year-old brother who lives in California.
In recent years, Elliott has worked to raise the profile of solo teenagers among Maine policymakers and senior organizations. It started when Elliott started asking about resources available to seniors like him who live alone. How did they get to see a doctor? Who helped them when they came home from the hospital and needed help? What if they need extra help at home but can’t afford it?
Elliott, to his surprise, realized that this group was not on anyone’s radar and began to advocate on behalf of solo teenagers.
Now, Elliott is thinking about how to bring together a team of people to help her as she gets older and how to build a stronger sense of community. “Aging without the mythical family support system that we all assume we have is tough on anyone,” Elliott said.
Lester Schoen, 72, of Manhattan, is never married or has children and lives alone in an 11-by-14-foot studio apartment on the third floor of a building with no elevator. He hasn’t made much money in his long career as an actor, writer, and theater director, and he doesn’t know how he’ll make a living once he retires from teaching at Pace University.
“There are days when I’m walking up three flights of stairs with my groceries and I think, ‘This is really hard,'” Shane told me. His health is pretty good, but he knows it won’t last forever.
“I’m on every list for senior housing. Everything is subject to a lottery. Most people I’ve talked to said they’ll probably die before they get their phone number,” he said. He spoke with dry humor.
Then Shane’s expression became serious. “I’m getting older and all the problems I have now are only going to get worse,” he says. As is the case with many elderly people living alone, his friends are growing older and having their own challenges.
The prospect of not having someone you know to turn to is alarming, Shane acknowledged, and “there’s fear at the root of it.”
Kate Shulamit Fagan, 80, has been divorced twice and has lived alone since 1979. “I never intended to live alone,” she told me in a long phone conversation. “I had expectations that I would meet someone, have another relationship, and move on with the rest of my life in some way. It was very difficult to let go of that expectation.”
When I first spoke with Fagan in mid-March, she was having a hard time in Philadelphia, where she had moved two years earlier to be closer to one of her sons. “I’ve been feeling really lonely lately,” she told me, explaining how difficult it was to adjust to her new life in a new place. Although her son was attentive, Fagan greatly missed the close circle of friends she had left behind in St. Petersburg, Florida, where she had lived and worked for 30 years.
Four and a half months later, when I called Fagan again, she was back in St. Petersburg, renting a one-bedroom apartment in a high-rise building in the city center. She was there celebrating her birthday with 10 of her closest friends and meeting people in the building. “I’m not completely calm, but I feel great,” she told me.
What caused the change? “We know that here, when you want to go out or need help, there’s quite a lot of people who will help you,” Fagan said. “The fear is gone.”
Over the coming months, as we investigate the lives of older people living alone, we hope to hear from people in this situation. If you would like to share your story, please send it to khn.navigatingaging@gmail.com.
KFF Health News is a national newsroom that produces in-depth journalism on health issues and is one of KFF’s core operating programs and an independent source of health policy research, polling, and journalism. is. Click here for more information about KFF.
First Published: September 30, 2024 at 6am
